In the movie “V for Vendetta” the main character, V, is a freedom fighter. He wants to convince the people of London to celebrate the 5th of November. That day in November was marked as a night to fight for justice. He wants to follow very closely to what a man tried to accomplish in London in 1605. That man was Guy Fawkes, and his main objective was to blow up the House of Parliament.
After a period of war, terror and disease, a man by the name of Adam Sutler was elected High Chancellor by the people of London. He promised them peace. Instead, he brought them cruelty and oppression. He set curfews and gave rations. He asked for the people’s “silent, obedient consent”. Well, much to High Chancellor’s satisfaction, everyone did that until one brave man spoke up.
“Last night, I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey to remind this country of what it has forgotten.” These empowering words were spoken by a man in disguise who goes by”V”. He broadcasts a speech to the people of London, and to persuade the citizens. He uses Aristotle’s three modes of persuasion and all three purposes to argue. The whole speech basically explains how terrible and unjust the government is. In order to convince the people of this governmental issue, he mainly uses forensic argumentation. One of the things he says explains how everything the government does is unfair. Pathos, one of the modes of persuasion, was used many times throughout the speech. He tried to effect people’s emotions when talking about ‘fear getting the best of them” or “cruelty, intolerance and oppression”. He uses evaluation to portray the bad of the things the Chancellor is doing and how wrong totalitarian government truly is. There is a mean to end used in the last few lines of V’s speech. He asks the people of London to make a stand and to remind people what they can once again have: fairness, justice, and freedom.
V presents a strong argument to the people of London. He wants November the 5th to bring out fear in the government by blowing up the House of Parliament. Others are convinced to join him in his quest of freedom. He reached out to all men, women, and some kids and to me that’s a successful speech.
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P1: --your thesis sentence must mention the rhetorical stategies you plan to discuss.
--make a more solid connection between V and Fawkes by combining the last two sentences
P2: --comma after terror in 1st sentence
--you spend too much time establishing context here. context should be established in the 1st paragraph, but after that you must move on to analyzing V's language and rhetorical strategies
--never begin a paragraph with a quotation. you must introduce that quotation
--"who goes by 'V'" should be rephrased
--third sentence is a fragment
--do not mention "all three purposes" in your analyses. your audience may not know what you're talking about if you simply say "all three purposes"
--"one of the things he says" must be developed. this is not enough to give me proof that V actually claimed that "everything that the government does is unfair" i need specifics
--"effect" should be "affect'
--V mentions that fear is getting the best of his audience, but is V trying to strike fear into his audience? Pathos relates to how the speaker is attempting to affect his audience
--"he uses evaluation" sounds very rigid...instead, try phrasing it like this: "V evaluates..."
--avoid general phrases like "things" I need specifics
--you've dedicated one paragraph to all three types and all three modes...break it up and spend more time with each type or mode and keep in mind that you don't have to mention everything in your analyses. i'm filling your bag with an arsenal of discussion points to choose from for when you take the AP exam.
P3: --your sentence structure is a bit awkward in your conclusion.
--also, P3 needs more development. never write a paragraph that features less than 5 sentences...never. i usually teach my students to aim for 7-10 sentences.
Final Thoughts: I find that your analysis is a bit rigid in the way you refer to the modes and types. relax a little with your language. your analysis reads a bit like you went down a checklist and marked off each element. With more development in your analysis (by detailing a mode/type using lines from the text), you'll do fine on the AP exam.
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